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If you wish to verify the text below, please download the PDF of the scanned pages. Each is numbered. This is Number. Douglas' great feeling for this topic, and fully aware of the immortality of his early contribution, I have built this work around his, not only to preserve the remarkable essence of the earlier book, but to add a definitive touch to this one. Unsparing use has also been made of the limericks recorded in the back of Immortalia.
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The Smutty Professor

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The Smutty Professor — The James G. Martin Center for Academic Renewal

The University of North Carolina system has had a pornography problem lately. Appalachian State University professor Jammie Price made national news when she showed pornographic images in a documentary in her sociology class without warning students first. Despite her lapse of judgment, Price was at least not encouraging pornography; the film she showed opposed it. He publicly seeks acclaim for his appreciation of X-rated entertainment, through his equally X-rated poetry.
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Sounds nice, eh, ladies? This takes nothing away from my beautiful wife, who is by all accounts an excellent mother, baker, hottie and virtual domestic goddess. But then…. The only real clue I have is that it was learned behavior from my first job at a restaurant.
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There once was a man known as Fender Both an instrument maker and vendor Who designed a guitar Played by many a star Heard by many a concert attender. He began as a service technician Fixing radios out of commission Then expanded his trade With contraptions he made For enhancing the human condition. He came up with a novel conception Which improved very much the complexion Of the music domain Which has not been the same Since his flash of adroit intellection.
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